|
must -
just -
be -
the -
colors
2004-05-02 - 7:05 a.m. dear diary, [insert pause] I JUST SAW A MOTHERFUCKING WILD ASS TURKEY RUNNING IN MY YARD! A WILD ASS TURKEY. NOT of the whiskey kind, but a legit honest to god motherfucking ginormous turkey. only. in. iowa. not sure what the obsession with my yard is this week, but let me tell you what a pleasure it was to be rubbing one out in front of my open window and see two kids with bikes walk right by it. i live in the middle of nowhere on 3 acres of forest land. i woke up today because i heard voices. turns out like 6 11 year olds have been playing in the woods [part of this house] so i had to put a damn robe out and ask them to play somewhere else. ************************************************* "hey guys." [they start to run when they see me coming.] "don't run away. it's cool." "oh. hey." "you guys can't play in my yard. i know it's bitchin, but it's mine." [one of them points to the firepit area by the traintracks] "can we play there?" "no." [one points to the lilac bushes] "can we play there?" "no." ****************************************** so they've been warned. if they show up again, i'm running out of the house naked and weilding a butcher knife. because wtf, i'm allowed to do that.
|