2004-02-02 - 11:42 a.m.
dear diary,
ok ok it's groundhog's day, and while that is generally in my top five of alltime favorite movies, i've seen it so many times that i am hoping to avoid all references to it today.
we're getting 10-13 inches of snow today, wtf is that about?
i'll tell you what it's about, it's about no school tonight.
the good news is that i made the dean's list again this year and two of my pieces were selected to be published in a local literary magazine. whee hoo!
i've been in a weird mood all week, the best way to describe it is "hover-mode."
does that make sense? i've felt sort of removed from everything and everyone. you know, hover-mode.
i have a lot of dead people on my mind today. like, a lot. and i don't know why. just a few people i guess i really miss.
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i had this friend named sarah a few years ago and friend is kind of a generous term but her dad died in this horrible motorcycle accident. so i went over to her house to be there for her and there were about thirty people there, all of her friends really. but i came in and she grabbed my hand and we sat on the bed and she wasn't crying but you could tell she was in shock. she had this plastic ziploc bag, you know the oversized ones? and she pulled out a pair of these cheap looking sunglasses, black and plastic and she handed them to me and i'm holding them and not looking at them- i'm looking at her talking about the sunglasses when i realized that she was talking about how the cops gave her "her dad" in a bag and i looked down at the glasses and they were covered in dried blood. i mean it was just smeared all over the lenses and flaking off near the metal screws... i wanted to drop them but i knew it would be really insulting so i handed them back to her gently and patted her on the hand or did some other uncomfortable comforting gesture.
i gave her a book called tiger eyes by judy blume because the protagonist's dad dies in the book and i couldn't think of anything i could say that would be on the level with her grief so i thought maybe this book could do the talking for me.
if i was sarah and she was me and she handed me that book i probably would've thrown it away.
i must have had hinky dreams last night because it was the first thing on my mind when i woke up.