2003-11-16 - 1:24 p.m.
dear diary,
i was thinking about preparing some "traditional" midwestern cuisine to bring to north carolina with me for the holidays, but to be honest, the names of the dishes usually turn me off so much that it's hard to make or consume them.
like, puppy chow. which is just a bunch of corn chex covered in crap.
and, shit on a shingle. which is chipped beef on toast.
and mess hall casserole. which is a bag of frozen vegetables, a bag of frozen tatertots and some cream of mushroom soup.
and a shit brick. which is a piece of toast with a hole in it to drop a fried egg into. we italians have this too but it's usually just called "eggs in a hat." unless the boy-toy was pulling my leg with this one... who in the world sits down and thinks "i am hungry for a shit brick."
the boy-toy's family gets a kick out grossing me out by using any kind of animal and adding "burger" at the end of it as one of their favorite treats.
something about "deer burger" tickles me in ways i never want to be tickled. and apparently beefalo is a real meat bi-product of cows bred with buffalo. i'm not a stranger to bizarre cuisine really, because in california i used to live at the falafal stand next to my apartment and there was a variety of interesting lamb gyros and ostrich burgers. but i've been a midwesterner for three years now and i still can't fathom deer as a primary meat source.
i remember when i told my father that i was moving to the midwest. he was astounded and incredulous. the first thing he asked me was "can you even get tomatoes there?!"
i think the second thing he asked me was "you have a gun, right?"
this is really just my way of saying that i miss my dad.
and that there is no way in hell i will ever eat something called "chipped beef."