2003-11-04 - 1:26 a.m.

dear diary,

sometimes i let myself think of her, and her, and her, and him.

but not usually.

i wondered, for awhile, if i had become an incredibly different person.

the type of person that doesn't allow people to get close anymore. the type of person that casts off memories of an older familiar life for the sake of newness and rediscovery.

the type of person that forgets to write letters, and answer the phone. the type of person that wears ambivalencey like whatever clothing analogy you want.

sometimes i think about it.

but usually only at 1:30am when the house is asleep and the rain becomes depressing.

waxing - waning