2003-08-24 - 5:00 p.m.
dear diary,
i know that last entry didn't have a lot of detail but that's because i hate you.
the three of us went out on a dinghy, or actually i think they're called "john boats" out here because they're small and really just used for tooling around lakes and catching fish.
i'm pretty sure that i couldn't define the moment i turned into a hillbilly if i tried, but there are a few good solid reasons that that i'm pretty sure i crossed the line of class into hillbillyism.
1. our boat was metal and 4 feet long. everyone else's boat was white, 100 feet long, blaring rasta music, and was full to the brim of tan and sleek barbies and kens. i had the gall to look uncomfortably italian but the juxtaposition of my glaringly white skin baffled many a beach babe.
2. i actually suggested buying paint and letters so we could name the boat "white trash."
3. i laughed at a joke someone made about "weekend at bernies."
4. when "take it easy" came on the radio on the way back home, i didn't change the channel. right away.
5. our innertube had holes in it and the line that we used to tie it to the motor was the cable we use for our dog run.
6. i wore a fisherman's hat that had flowers on it. and i didn't take it off once.
7. i bought budget soda. [see: dr thunder]
8. i bought a cooler. who buys coolers? and ice for chrissakes? who goes out and buys a pair of terry cloth flip flops for a day on a dinghy with a cooler filled with generic pop?
9. i just called soda "pop."
10. i had a fucking rad time.
the worst part about this list is that i could easily name a good ten more points of why i'm officially now a hillbilly, but my poor heart can only take so much pain.
ok but ps: i think at one point today i actually said "i wouldn't mind dating someone that was missing one tooth. like, maybe if it was in the front and it was knocked out sexfully during some sporty romp."
i suck.