2003-08-19 - 3:58 p.m.
dear diary,
the worst thing about today is that i found out i can't survive on my student loan income alone.
but the best thing about today is that i saw a man wearing a speedo and a backpack.
and i can't stop listening to the crying game on repeat.
and reesesticks has an ad campagin that says they're "the crisp you can't resist" but i really just like them because they're peanut buttery.
crying game. on the real.
dude! careless whisper just kicked on without my planning! oh george michael! to think i wanted to make babies with you at one point in my life! [call me.]
ok but the best story i've heard today so far, [i add that so far in case you want to add something that will beat the pants off of this here story and oh god the sax just kicked in on careless whisper and holy christ i feel retarded listening to this with a volume of 9.] comes courtesy of my friend from california.
apparently he took an english class several years for whatever general ed requirements they had at community college and for the final the class was asked to write an essay on anything they wanted. so he wrote his essay on the benefits of harvesting organs from inmates, homeless people, and non-functioning folks on life support.
please understand that this was a boy that had a puppy fetus in a jar on DISPLAY in his apartment when i first met him.
and the teacher gave him an A and wrote "nice use of satire" on the essay.
i laughed pretty hard, because you know, see the puppy story above. he wasn't using satire. that's just him. deli-dingers, puppies in jars, conspiracy theories, organ harvests and offensive t-shirts.
and i'm never gonna dance again.