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2004-07-21 - 2:10 p.m. dear diary, "are my gums supposed to feel like someone just poured hydrochloric acid all over them and then squirted lemon juice into the open sores?" "probably not." "it tingles!" *** "i don't swim in anything where the water is a) brown b) smelly or where the bottom of the floor is c) muddy or d) indecipherable" *** "i think those cherries gave me a corner mouth herpe." *** "can you die from eating a pound of cherries?" "i will fucking kill you if you fart into that fan one more time." "does it smell like a cherry though?" "i hate you." *** "warm water makes my bladder all giddy." *** "teenage boys swim in the "sleu" out here - it's lime quarry run off. and no, that's not slang for my vagina slime." "... did you just say vagina slime to your mother?" "yeah. shh i'm on the phone." *** "you know that part in tidalwave where he says 'take me down when you're wide?'" "uh, that's not how it goes." "oh. nevermind then." *** "you know how aisha was the girl that they never had?" "yeah." "why would a nine year old be fucking anyway?" *** "i got the new sonic youth." "i'd rather listen to holopaw." "well... i'd rather..." "tard." "yeah."
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