2004-07-19 - 4:51 a.m.
dear diary,
sufjan stevens is keeping me company at 4:48am (ok but now beulah is too.) you know what is hella rank? feeling like you have a fever when your temperature is actually below 98.6 degrees.
i accidentally ripped another hole under the arm of my favorite t-shirt.
it's a cub shirt. insert sad face.
you know what else is hella rank? spending three weekends in a row at the hospital emergency room.
can you say... repetitious? two weeks ago for asthma, last week for my mother in law getting hit by a car in what i'm now referring to as the "mother in law mishap part three," and today for asthma again. so the lovely folks at mercy medical [it's a catholic hospital and my husband hates it there because "they don't even have mtv" whereas my only concern is "if i miscarry, a priest comes in and burns me with holy water and condemns me to a fiery afterlife in hell."] called a medical supplier and they met me at my house this afternoon to bring me a nebulizer.
let me clue you in here. people that go TO YOUR HOUSE to sell/install medical equipment do not know how to deal with you if you a) are not ninety years old and b) do not have medicaid. if my insurance company [blue cross] continues to be swell and dandy and can manage to NOT lift me up by the short and curlies then this beautiful piece of equipment can be mine for free. mostly.
basically i put on an oxygen mask and sit and breathe for fifteen minutes while some liquid condenses and aerates through a tube hooked into the mask. if you thought i was sexy before, you're in for a super treat. you don't know what sexy is until you see a twenty six year old asthmatic wheeze into an oxygen mask.
you know what else is sexy though? stool softeners.
pretty sure the crowning moment came when i filled my prescriptions and then sat down to organize them. i am taking... 9 pills a day.
suffice to say, i wonder if i'd almost rather be dead than have to take all of these pills. and liquids. and some new weird disk thing that i have to click and then breathe in the powders. [which reminds me of a story. jamie had some kind of weird man powder thing that is basically like baby powder for men. he powdered the weenis and put on his underpants and ran into the bedroom to shake his package in my face so i wrapped my arms around his waist and did the psyche out "i'm going to bite your penis off" air bite and that's when i accidentally inhaled and all his creepy man powders went up my nose and burned it and i yelled for hours. this is why "the powders are burning!" is his favorite joke, but not so much mine.]
i'm doing the pee pee dance right now.
also, if you don't love beulah, you have no soul. for realsies.