2004-03-17 - 3:38 p.m.
dear diary,
tomorrow is the epidural block at the hospital. i've been avoiding emails and updates, but not purposefully. i just have too much crap to do and take care of.
i feel really anxious. there is too much drama in that "other" online life.
i want the babyshakers debut.
queenofhearts needs to tell z0tl some dave grave stories. and then we need to pick her up and have vacation time.
catheaven is heaven, and revenge is sweet. vacation time, too.
this is one of those weeks i want to drop off the face of the earth. not in a suicidey way, more like in a "let's explore the newest planet they found" kind of a way.
i think i'm horrible at communication.
i'm so tired of taking care of other people. doesn't that sound horrific? i just don't know how to balance my own needs with someone else's. how do people do it?
i dreamt that i was chosen to die because i was ugly. and someone whispered in my ear that i'd never be a mother, because i wasn't capable.
sex dreams, you can come back any day now. really.