2003-10-20 - 10:57 p.m.
dear diary,
i shit my pants in a grocery store once when i was about seven years old. i started thinking about how ungraceful i am and how clumsiness usually leads to embarassing situations.
my mom put a blanket down in the back seat and made me hover on the car ride home. she and my brother rolled down their windows and half of their bodies extended outside past the window.
i'm not sure why i'm always a glutton for embarassing social faux paus but they take to me like i'm the duck and they're the water. etc.
when we got home my mom made me stand in the backyard and she used the garden hose to hose me down from a safe distance [see: 50 ft]
did you ever have a nasty bodily food-related eperience as a child and as a result you avoided that food like the devil? it's because of that i will always associate orange explosive diarrhea with chef boy r dee. i will always associate pizza with pineapples on it with the girl that threw up all over chuck e cheese at my birthday party. i will always associate coconuts in cookies with my brother farting out a piece of coconut and bringing it out on a napkin to show the family.
i'm pretty sure i don't ever want to eat again. besides...
food is like, so overrated.