2004-02-18 - 5:46 p.m.
dear diary,
ok check out this crap update, because i guarentee astoundingmental feats.
i'm getting married next tuesday at 3pm.
my cobra payments ran out.
i have two cavities that need root canals.
i have a herniated disk that needs surgery.
i have no way of getting medical insurance within the next seven days unless i get married.
so, i am.
for the sake of rehashing here, i've had to throw all of my values and morals out the window in the face of the most INTENSE SEARING PAIN EVER.
this is by far the worst secret i've ever kept from my family, not including that one year i did meth every single day. but marriage, sheesh.
yeah that was totally a sixteen candles quote. we got the marriage license today and it felt ok. it didn't feel bad or wrong...
but i haven't worked out all of my wild oats yet i think. that's what worries me. i mean, does anything change once we're married? i'm keeping my last name.
can i still randomly flirt with people?
can i still have the feelings of wanting to run away once in awhile?
is it ok to not tell my family that i'm getting married and just wait until two years from now when my undergraduate studies are over and then have a real wedding etc?
is it ok to get married with pink hair?
do i have to take pictures?
i still feel uneasy.
but maybe that's just 100 ibuprofens talkin.