2003-09-25 - 2:47 p.m.
dear diary,
so like, i've discovered that i can download internet porn on kazaa, which any idiot would have figured how to do by now but i'm computer illiterate.
god i hate that term, it's way too pc. i'm a computer tard.
anyway the point of this entry is that masturbating while sitting up is definitely weird.
that doesn't mean i don't like it.
i rigged the sound so interpol was playing and then there were randomly placed moans and screams throughout the song and i had to stop snapping so i could congratulate myself on my masterful dj-ing.
and then lonely teardrops by jackie wilson kicked on and if you've ever tried to snap one off to oldies, then you are truly my hero. because i couldn't finish my stuff.
and all of that pent up BING turned into spring cleaning, five months late. like, you know it's bad when the guy that comes over to fix the air conditioner finds a dead mouse in your ducts and tells you lightning struck the A/C unit several months ago and holy christ do you ever clean your vents out... well, no.
what the fuck, seriously. i'm too old now to complain but it won't stop me: there seriously should've been a class in highschool that taught me how to balance a checkbook, buy a home, take care of a home, and juggle a career and an education and a relationship and a dog and do oil changes and fix a bad tire and get grease stains out of my porch that dripped down after i had "BBQ 03!" a few weeks ago.
if i turn my head - no wait i don't even have to turn it. out of the corner of my eye i can see the horrible patio furniture that was probably not even classy or cute in 1976.
A POX ON YOU, JACKIE WILSON!